For two weeks now, since the New York Senate voted to deny equal rights to non-heterosexual Americans, I’ve been on strike from Community Board 12 Manhattan.

I was watching the 12/2/09 vote in the NY Senate in Albany via live webcast -- which is one of the most staggering advances in journalism I’ve ever seen -- that I joined just when my Senator, Eric Schneiderman, was concluding his remarks. (Thanks, Eric, for your “Yes.” You rock.)

I’d been working on CB12’s new website, a hair’s-breadth away (a stubborn index file) from finally being successfully published after about 11 months’ hard work. Months slogging through old files, months creating page after page of resolutions, minutes, committee descriptions, community resources, dealing with publishing problems.... First NYC.gov’s IT refused to host it (“doesn’t fit our grid; we don’t do FTP”), then the Borough President’s Office couldn’t host it, then MobileMe -- I’d been in discussions with them since August, when I hit the .gov wall, to try and publish it on my Mobile Me just so CB12 Members could do a live trial -- hit a wall. Calls to my CB’s (now ex)Chair went unanswered. Finally, I discovered our old web domain had just expired two weeks earlier, contacted the new Chair, Pam Palanque-North, requesting we get it back so I could use THAT. Pam, ever efficient, instructed our DM to do so, and after some technical problems, all the stars were aligned for the live test.

I was so excited.

Coming after the great reception by Members and the Borough President’s office of my “official” photographic record of our recent Board Retreat - a retreat successful beyond everyone’s imagination in beginning the necessary healing of our Board - and a few days after a decision to run in the December election for “Assistant Secretary” (in an uncontested race), I was stoked. Things were changing. Things were definitely looking positive. After three long years, Members were excited about being part of the CB -- and so was I.

So there I was, working along on 8 cylinders, figuring out which pages I had to scrap because of the turnover in leadership, both at the CB and within our District (a new Council Member, Ydanis Rodriguez), which photos I’d have to add/take to bring everything up to date, where to add new links I’d been bookmarking -- educational sites for kids, for example -- when I checked my email, found the link to the live webcast, and watched, spellbound, as proponents of equality in marriage stood and spoke their minds and hearts.

When Eric Adams said, “When I walk through those [Senate Chamber] doors, I leave my Bible outside,” I actually cheered. I also cried at his simple eloquence as my defender, a voice of a total stranger who was also a friend. And of course, as the proponents stood, one after another, I was filled with tremendous pride at my fellow New Yorkers’ sense of history, honor, and duty to the Constitution of the United States (Pedro Espada: “Yes to this bill, and yes to as many do-overs as necessary!”) and great joy at the prospect that the marriage equality bill would, in fact, be law by the end of the day. I tweeted as the Senators supporting passage rose and spoke, often emotionally, often passionately, about why this is a civil rights, not a religious, issue.

And even after they sat, when Reverend Reuben Diaz, Senior rose to rebut Eric Adams’ statement, saying leaving the Bible outside the Senate Chamber was what is wrong in America, I didn’t doubt; I already knew that the good minister is adamantly, vehemently, and vocally anti-gay.

But then came the votes. Many were inaudible, though most were not... and there were so many “NOs” -- each a fresh shock, and as they mounted, each like a stab through the heart. When the result (interminable pause as vote-counters compared notes...where is technology when you need it?) was announced at 1:56 pm, I was stunned: 38 NO, 24 YES. The New York State Senate had just voted me a second-class citizen, denying me civil rights equal to every other citizen in New York.

My hands still rested on the keyboard, having just tweeted “DEFEATED” followed by, “My state thinks I’m not worthy of civil rights,” and my eyes came to focus on the CB12 website.

My mind freezes on that moment.

For more than 40 years, I have given my heart, mind, and passion to the “greater good,” much of it “pro bono” (translation: free) -- causes large and small, from tutoring college athletes and designing posters for a university theater department, to writing speeches for a local politician in Illinois and taking photographs of a New York State’s Attorney candidate, from making phone calls on Super Sunday to creating a whole fundraising campaign for UJA. I have done resumes, cover letters, invitations, even edited a thesis, for free when they couldn’t afford to pay; I have served on nonprofit boards and consulted with social service & arts organizations who couldn’t afford to pay much. I’m not rich -- by any means.

Four years ago, I volunteered to serve on Community Board 12, the local, lowest rung of government in New York City, and was appointed, then reappointed two years later, by the Manhattan Borough President. I’ve been a member of the Economic Development Committee; of the Traffic & Transportation Committee; and of the Executive Committee in my elected position as Second Vice Chair; and for the past year, been “webmaster,” creating our new website. Membership on a Community Board doesn’t pay; it’s volunteer. A CB is the “voice of the people” in issues like zoning, youth & senior programs and also in the issuance of State Liquor Authority licenses. (The SLA requires local CB input before ruling.)

All that time, effort, energy and passion. Everything I’ve contributed of myself: my ideas, my talent, my time. All because I believed that I’m a full citizen of my city, my state, my country, obligated to support government when and how I can; entitled to equal rights under the law... that’s the only “payment” I’ve ever asked for.

But December 2, 2009, knowing full well that their votes will be heard for a very long time indeed, the New York State Senate had robbed me of my citizenship. The government is willing to accept -- indeed, is willing to encourage -- contributions by people like me, but not willing to grant us equal rights.

That makes us slaves.

What power do I have to fight for my freedom? I have no money for a court fight; demonstrations are ineffectual (The National Equality March came and went without a single ripple in the consciousness of Americans.) All I own are my ideas, my talent, my time....

I tweeted “I am officially on strike.”

To the Members of CB12, and to the Borough President, I wrote, “Dear Colleagues: A few seconds ago, the New York Senate defeated a bill guaranteeing equal rights to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals. I am officially a second class citizen. As such, I will not be participating in Community Board 12 activities, until such time as my citizenship status is more clearly defined. I am on strike.”

Repercussions were pretty swift. Numerous CB12 Members wrote to urge me to stop my action. One wrote, “I suggest you reconsider because it appears you are striking back at the wrong people.” Several others had similar reactions; two sent messages of support without asking me to change my mind. After being contacted by a CB Member, a local newsite wrote a small story about my strike.

My application for reappointment (which hangs from a magnetic strip behind my computer screen, and is due by December 31) was not mailed before my announcement. At first, I considered filling it out a Board duty, and therefore, I couldn’t complete it. After giving much thought to that, I realized it was an act any member of the public could do - apply for appointment to a CB - and was ready to send it out when I read, closely, the wording at the bottom.... especially the words, “I am willing...” and realized that I cannot, in good conscience, send it in after all. It’s heart-breaking; I really have enjoyed being on the CB... but facts are facts and policies are policies -- and consequences are consequences.

To complicate matters, I was informed tonight, after the CB12 General Meeting, that A) I was unanimously elected as Assistant Secretary; B) the CB passed a marriage equality resolution (CB equality reso.doc) urging the Assembly and Senate to reconsider the bill. The vote was 21 for, 2 against, with 5 abstentions (which count as negative votes in most cases).

What that boils down to is this: with 48 or 49 appointed Members, a MINORITY of the Board voted to support equal marriage rights for gays and lesbians. 37 members had attended the meeting long enough to vote for officers, but only 28 stuck around long enough to vote on this issue. That’s just over half -- still a quorum, but barely.

And it means that, though the resolution is binding, less than half the Board voted in support.

While I am enormously grateful to my 21 colleagues for their support of equal rights, I regret that this vote and the results of the December election -- and I thank all the members for their confidence in my ability to serve adequately to the responsibilities -- are insufficient to change my mind. I regret some will see this as punishment; my intention is only to stand up for my full and unequivocal equal civil rights. If what you all expressed -- that you want, and need, me back to work... help make it possible. You ARE the voice of the people; use it to free me from my chains of religious and civil, economic and political oppression.

And for those who serve on any of the 59 Community Boards throughout the City, and to the 60 Members of the New York State Senate... I urge you, as I do my own colleagues, to think about the contributions that gays, lesbians and transgendered have made, are now making, and will make -- all without the security of knowing they are full, equal citizens -- to your Boards, to our City, to our State, and to our Country. I do not expect other gay Americans to follow this quixotic quest -- most do not have circumstances in which they can do so -- but I do respect them for their willingness to continue serving despite unequal treatment.

Thank you.